I did need to go back home a little while. And I did it. On new year's eve. It's been amazing. I got drunk almost every night and i puked on my pillow while i was sleeping. A waste of woman..I started to love my hometown since I moved in another place. That doesn't mean I wanna desperately live there 365 a year, but I know that I totally belong there.And i don't really mind about people, evil eyes, dirty mouths and their shitty speeches. 'cause they don't know anything, even if they think they actually do. Because it is not everything about fuck. And it's been hard, more than i've ever expected. It's always easier in the movies. Especially the one in my mind. But i've found my brothers and my sisters once again and they helped me understand what they were trying to tell me since i started to die everyday a bit more.. that i need to be myself again. And it's true. Because the day I tryed to be someone else or another version of me, I've ruined everything and I've lost what I builted in years."And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse?"Not so clever.I mean I know, but life is not always easy. Actually it never is.I'm not happy 360° but i'm happy i am me and i am mine. Fuck the rest.I don't care of people advices, even if they are my friends. I can't live my life on someone else way of living it. I don't wanna make mistakes no more..but if i have to, well.. i wanna make it by myself and in my own way. Actually you can tell me what you think and what you would do if you were me.. [Mistake's fault is always fifty-fifty.]
"Don't meet her - Don't write her - Act like she's not here - Let her sees you are more than good - Don't forgive her - Dance cheek to cheek with another girl - Talk with every other girls except her - How could she?! - There are thousands like her, ever better than her - You moved together too fast - She's too young - Who cares? Fuck everyone you can! ecc ecc".. but that's it. I'll keep make my decisions.But if you take advices and follow them, well.. good for you.My name is always the same. My nickname aswell. My skin still smells of Nivea. My nose is always big as my feet are. And when i go to bed i got them frozen.It's always me. Me.Can you see me?
And now i'm back in London. I can fell it with all my body.
I'm ready.
